A very irate man wrote to the editor of the Daily Telegraph via the letters page. He complained: I am sure that my neighbours are growing marijuana. They keep telling me it is cabbage but I'm sure it is marijuana and I'm getting so angry about it.

The editor replied: "Ask them if you can try some. If after ten minutes you are still angry - it's cabbage."

A policeman sent the same fax 26 times to Maidstone Crown Court. When they telephoned to ask him why he kept sending the same fax. He said "Every time I send it in the fax it keeps coming out the other side"

A Conservative member of Parliament was accused of being out of touch with his constituents, so he resolved tp take the bus home that evening. When the conductor asked him where he was getting off the MP replied "14 Eaton Square."

TERRY THOMAS was cornered at a party by a very boring man. After a while Mr Thomas made his excuses and was about to leave when the other man asked "may I drive you home?" Terry Thomas replied "My dear man, you already have."